The following story, lends some perspective to the question of just how reliable BBB accreditation is to someone seeking to evaluate a moving company. Read the words of the victim. The wording of her description indicates that she obviously got a low moving cost estimate and subsequently the company raised the price and threatened to hold her goods until she came up with the additional money. “had the worst experience ever!…very unprofessional, horrible packing job, items stolen. “
And then we ended up having to pay an extortion fee for them to deliver our furniture. I have complaints into BBB, FMCSA and AMSA to get a refund. we’ll see….. STAY AWAY!!!!! nice presentation/sales people, until you meet Louie. They are a newer company, but had no complaints with the AMSA, A- rating with BBB, etc etc. Hopefully that will change after my complaint.”

You can see what the paradox is. Here’s a company that was in excellent standing with the BBB, and yet they went on to cheat this woman, extort her and steal and destroy her goods.. So if a company with an excellent BBB rating can do this, what good is the rating?

How could this have happened? And specifically, what conclusions can be drawn from a good BBB rating. To find an answer, let us examine the words of the BBB. ” BBB accreditation does not mean that the business? products or services have been evaluated or endorsed by BBB, or that BBB has made a determination as to the business? product quality or competency in performing services.”

A BBB rating does not mean a company has been checked out by the Better Business Bureau, or that their products or services are endorsed by the Better Business Bureau.

So, what positive conclusions can be drawn from a BBB rating? Once more, let us look at the words of the BBB: “If a business has been accredited by the BBB, it means BBB has determined that the business meets accreditation standards which include a commitment to make a good faith effort to resolve any consumer complaints. BBB accredited businesses pay a fee for accreditation review/monitoring and for support of BBB services to the public.”

This last statement is important and does explain the value of the accreditation. Every company in good standing with the BBB must be willing to go through BBB arbitration, when required by the circumstances. f the BBB rules against a company, the company must comply with the ruling or face losing their good standing with the BBB.

The problem in the current instance is that the company was a newly registered company. Even if they had already extorted other people, maybe their victims didn’t take them to the BBB. Or maybe they’re victims had taken them to the BBB but the arbitration process hasn’t occurred yet. Essentially, this is a window period for scammers to go around with good BBB ratings, and take advantage of unsuspecting victims.

On the other hand, if you begin to evaluate a moving or packing company, that has been around for years, and still has a good BBB rating, that means during that entire time, they have been compliant with any BBB arbitration and ruling. That makes such a company more trustworthy.

One last point is worth making. Unfortunately, many scam companies, will open up, and after they lose their accreditation with the BBB, they will close the company and try to open up a new company under a different name and or ownership. And from time to time they are successful in resetting their status with the BBB.

This report has been brought to you by Packing Service Inc. Packing service Inc. is an honest packing company dedicated to fighting moving scams

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Imagine a forest alive with trees that are growing taller year by year. Then, one day, a woodsman comes in, ax in hand and swinging hard. The damage he does to the health of the forest is extreme, harsh, and long-term. Now think about these statements, some of which may sound familiar: ?How could you do this to me?? WHACK! ?Some day you?ll realize what I?ve done for you!? WHACK! ?I hope your children do to you what you?ve done to me!? TIMBER!

Just as the trees fall to the woodman?s ax, so does your ego under the blows of your parent?s comments. And their damage on you is just as extreme, harsh and long term. But just as the forest comes back to good health over time, so can you come back to your own state of health and happiness.

Communication takes many forms and so does manipulation. We?ve just touched on the verbal kinds of guilt-provoking examples, what about their nonverbal counterparts? Pouting. Withdrawing. Icy stares. Cold shoulders. Helpless sobbing. Forlorn looks. If all this drama is directed toward one small child, how could he or she not be affected?

Manipulation: Two New Varieties, Same Old Guilt

Ever experience the Knife Twist? How about the Bludgeon? Both bring you to the same place?guilt. Let?s start with the parent who manipulates via ?knife twisting.? For the child whose parents want him or her to be excessively devoted to them, no matter how unpleasant it is, here?s what may be heard around the dinner table: ?I?m so miserable without you,? or ?How could you be so selfish and so inconsiderate of me?? or ?After all I?ve sacrificed for you? (note this one may be accompanied by one of the already mentioned nonverbal ?forlorn looks?). What?s the effect of all this knife twisting? Maybe your fear of having to be too devoted will cause you to be afraid of close relationships and so your search for love will never end well. In the chapter ?Why Can?t I Fall in Love and Stay in Love,? you?ll read stories of people whose relationships were damaged by just this issue.

Let?s continue with our other style of guilt-provoking manipulation?the Bludgeon. An example of this type is found when you act independently of your authoritarian parent and he or she loses control, explodes in anger, and screams at you because you weren?t obedient or submissive enough. What?s the effect of bludgeoning? In the chapter ?Why Am I Fat and Why Can?t I Lose Weight?? you?ll read about Alice, who rebelled against her controlling parents by getting fat and staying that way.

Whether it?s a slowly twisting knife, a bludgeoning from a hammer, an icy stare or a cold shoulder, the effect of these over-emotional displays of exaggerated suffering is the same?to manipulate you to change a normal behavior or abandon a normal goal. But why would you change what is normal and acceptable? Because you feel so guilty for inflicting such terrible pain, you?ll conform to their personality flaws no matter how resentful or damaging that may be for your life.

The Stranger at the Party

As a child, it?s hard to imagine that you have the power to inflict so much damage on your parents or siblings just by being yourself and doing the normal things that children do. But because they constantly act so wounded, it?s difficult for you to be unaffected by their guilt-provoking behavior. Now think about this: If you had a brief encounter with an unpleasant stranger at a cocktail party, would you assume then that you were responsible for his offensive behavior? Or would you say to yourself, or to a friend, ?What?s up with him?? Chances are you?d know that if that person behaved badly, it wasn?t your fault. But with your parent or sibling, you?ve been blamed for their unhappiness over a long, long time and you?ve been burdened by long-lasting feelings of (unconscious) guilt. Why is it so difficult to avoid feeling guilty toward your parents when you probably wouldn?t blame yourself for the badly behaving stranger?

The Gods Must Be Angry

As children, we view our parents in the same way that members of a primitive tribe view their gods. When the gods are angry, the heavens erupt and earthquakes, floods, and droughts occur. Tribal elders know for certain that the gods must be appeased. Amends must be made for hurting the gods. With a lack of knowledge about the causes of the natural disasters it experiences, the tribe assumes that it has angered the gods of nature. And so by altering its behavior through prayer, performing rituals and sacrifices, the tribe believes it can placate the offended gods and so alleviate the punishment. But in altering its behavior in order to amend and atone, the tribe may make accommodations even if they?re detrimental to its well-being?for instance, sacrificing a cow even if there?s a shortage of cows.

In the same way, as a child you assumed that your behavior was responsible for provoking your parents. Though this assumption was often just a general feeling and not clearly well thought out, it was based on real experiences with siblings or parents who constantly acted hurt, threatened, or angered by your normal behaviors. Remember the mother in the joke at the beginning of the chapter?the one who made her son feel guilty about not paying enough attention to her? Have you ever been in a similar situation? If so, what did you do? Did you act like the member of the indigenous tribe and make sacrifices to appease your gods (okay, parents)? Did you change something normal in yourself in order to not hurt them again? Was the result that you resented yourself for appeasing your parents at your own expense? If so, your resentment will also have you trapped in self-defeating responses as you go through life. What might that look like? You might rebel against the mother in the joke and become unresponsive to anyone who wants your interest. Or, in response to a controlling parent, you might become stubborn, defiant, and disagreeable, no matter how severe the cost is to you. Throughout your life these qualities will undermine your relationships with others and also your goals.

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Changing to keep our parents happy, or at least to not make them angry, is
something you may have tried while growing up. But did you know exactly what you were changing and why? And if you didn?t, did you still try to change anyway?

Compare your situation to this one and see if it helps put it all in perspective for you. You?ve been job-hunting for a while and now at last your search is over. You?ve landed a job. Only problem is, you don?t know what the job entails, what is expected of you, and what the requirements actually are. One day you walk into work and your boss is angry with you and you don?t know why. You find yourself thinking, ?What did I do?? ?Was it the way I handled report A, was it the way I dealt with situation B, or maybe it was how I dealt with customer C?? You decide which situation you think it was and then you make what you think is the appropriate change. Next time, you think (and hope) it will be different. Your boss will have nothing to be angry about.

You?ve taken care of the problem. Does that make sense to you? Changing but not knowing what you did wrong or fully understanding the situation before you start to make the change? If you don?t know what the problem is, how can you possibly be expected to fix it? To an adult this probably doesn?t make sense, does it? But this is what we, as kids, do. Right or wrong, sense or nonsense, we try to change to make sure our parents (or other siblings) won?t be angry or hurt. We?re always trying to keep those ?gods? of ours happy so they don?t get angry.

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Who has not heard of Helen Keller? Her blindness and deafness could not shatter her indomitable spirit. There are many instances of such people. I had corresponded with families of cancer stricken children. The pain that I saw was enough to shake the bravest heart. I remember a small kid girl, who developed second degree burns as a reaction to her Chemotherapy. Her mother had a guest book and the notes on that site could make anyone weep. The pain that the child was undergoing was tremendous. But the photographs of a capped child smiling and laughing in the laps of her father were heart warming. Somewhere the spirit was alive in the family to fight it out cheerfully.

I also remember my conversations with a blind man of 70 years of age. He was secretary of one of the blind help groups. For sometime, during my talk, I realized that something strange was happening. Then suddenly it stuck me that this gentleman was using words such as Oh, I see, etc. without giving a pause. I was amazed with this talk. I knew that he had been a blind man for more than 40 years. I somehow gathered strength and asked him about usage of such words. He told me casually that there was nothing great about that. He could read and write and even type as well as any normal person. Though he had Braille. And he could see the faces with his touch. He had no regrets about his blindness. He had taken it as a fact of life and there was no feeling of having been dealt bad cards by the fate. Such people make us feel that adversities come to strengthen us. They test us. It is surely very tough to overcome them, but a strong will and faith in oneself and one’s God can give enough strength to overcome them.

Let us look at the life as a moving vehicle. As we move, we pass many scenes. Some good and some dirty. But we sit though the journey peacefully and reach our destination. We mostly remain unmoved because – we are not directly pained by the scenes outside and our focus is more on reaching the destination. In any adversity, at least the second part can be applied. Come what may, our object should be to create a good life and live as an example for others. That should be our destination and that should be our motivation.

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Most of us are very grateful for these blessings, but how often do we stop to focus and reflect on that? Probably not as often as we should. Why is Gratitude even important? Sure, we’re thankful for what we have, but why should we have to dwell on it?

There is a very good reason! Have you ever given someone a gift, and when they open it they react with very little enthusiasm? They say flatly, “Oh yeah, thanks, I’ve been wanting one of those.” Their words say “thank you” but their heart says, “big deal”. You can feel that, can’t you? Does it inspire you to want to give them another gift? Probably not. On the other hand, if you give someone a gift and they exclaim, “Oh THANK YOU, I just love it!”, doesn’t that lift your heart? You feel appreciated, and happy that you made them feel appreciated.

The one Universal Law that has had the most profound effect in my life is, Like Attracts Like. When we are truly grateful for the blessings in our lives, and we take time to reflect on them, we automatically begin to draw more blessings to ourselves. Why? Because we create what we focus on.

True gratitude isn’t the act of mechanically listing the blessings in our lives every night before we go to sleep. Gratitude is an Attitude. It’s a mindset of thankfulness and joy for the wonderful blessings in our lives. Our hearts and minds are lifted in joy when we reflect on the beauty and love surrounding us. It’s a heartfelt acknowledgement that our lives would not be as happy as they are now if we didn’t have those blessings.

Okay, so maybe not everything in our lives is perfect right now. Gratitude can be hard to foster when we are also experiencing struggle at the same time. Maybe we’ve just lost a job, or a loved one. Maybe we have difficult financial struggles. Maybe we are mired in depression and sadness. It’s hard to feel grateful during moments like that.

That’s where Faith comes in. Gratitude and Faith go hand in hand. Gratitude is reflecting on and being thankful for the blessings we do have, while Faith affirms that more are on the way. Maybe not everything in our lives is the way we want it to be, but some things are wonderful, and the things that aren’t so wonderful will get better in time. Another job is just around the corner. Peace and healing will come to us as we go through the grieving process for our loved one. Financial struggles come and go. Depression and sadness will lift (seeking treatment may be necessary in some cases), and the sun will shine once again. Believe this. Know it in your heart. Affirm it to the Universe, and it will be so.

You know what I’m grateful for? You. Every single one of you who is reading these words right now. I’m deeply grateful that I’m given the opportunity to send even a tiny ray of sunshine into your lives each week. The letters I get back from you telling me that I’ve made a difference in your life, no matter how small, fill my heart to overflowing.

Be thankful for the ways in which you touch the lives of others. Some of them you may not even be aware of, and that’s okay. Know that they do exist.

Take time to reflect on the good things in your life, not just today, but every day. Really let yourself feel the goodness and love surrounding you. Tell your loved ones what they mean to you. Embrace them and be thankful for their presence in your life. Focus on the Love, for it’s all that really matters.

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Sometimes we forget how fleeting life is. There are no guarantees. We might be here until we’re 100 years old, or we might check out in our twenties or thirties. We just don’t know. But most of us tend to trick ourselves into believing that we have all the time in the world. We procrastinate, hesitate and put off the things that are truly important to us.

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, would you have any regrets? Would you feel a sense of loss for all the things you didn’t do? I’m not referring to major accomplishments like climbing a mountain. I mean the smaller, more precious moments in life. Would you regret not spending more time with your children or spouse? Would you feel disappointed that you never signed up for those dance lessons you’ve always wanted to take, or wrote the book that’s hiding in your heart?

Think back to your childhood for a moment. Remember how slowly time seemed to move? Remember how people in their twenties seemed old, and people in their thirties and forties seemed positively ancient? My grandmother told me years ago that the older you get, time moves more quickly. I didn’t believe her. I was a teenager when she told me that, and to my astonishment, more than 20 years have passed since then. How is that possible? Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday I was graduating from high school and had my whole life ahead of me. Time really does seem to move more quickly as you get older. I’ll have to remember to tell that to my own grandchildren. *grin*

So, how can we live our lives in a way that will leave us with no regrets? It seems that life has gotten so busy for most of us. How do we find the time and energy to do what really matters? Most of us still have to work, we have responsibilities and demands on our time. Is filling up our schedule with more “stuff” really the answer? No, I don’t think so.

I think the answer isn’t so much about adding more to our lives, but rather, more deeply enjoying the lives we have now. Certainly we should follow our dreams and engage in fun activities. If you really want to sign up for those dance lessons, go for it. If you have a novel begging to be written, write it! But adding those activities alone will not transform our entire lives.

What transforms a person’s life is how present they are in their day to day tasks. While you’re working, immerse yourself in the work. Give it your full attention and effort and passion. When you put aside your work for the day, also put it out of your mind. When you are spending time with your family, enjoy them. Laugh, have fun, play. Engage meaningfully with your spouse. Let your family know how much you love and appreciate them.

Finally, and most importantly, allow yourself to really experience life. Take frequent moments throughout your day to breathe, feel, BE. Too many of us spend our days in a rushed fog. We don’t take time to awaken and enjoy. We are sleeping through the best parts of our lives. Simply opening our spiritual eyes and looking around can refresh and invigorate us.

Cherish each moment you have on this earth. Live with passion, joy and awe. Cram as much happiness, fun and love into your life as you can. Then when regret comes knocking at your door, there is simply no room for it to come in.

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Listen – Let the person vent a little, and get their words and feelings out. If you interrupt them too quickly to defend yourself, it?s going to just make things worse. Wait for them to finish or for a pause. Being a good listener is an important skill in many other situations also. A good technique for listening is to ask questions. It not only helps you understand them better, but shows them you truly care to understand.

Stay Calm – Don?t go into anger mode yourself, it just compounds the situation. Just remind yourself that anger is unlikely to accomplish anything good, so why do it.

Validate – Validate their anger, do not just dismiss their emotions just because you feel it?s unjustified. The fact is that they feel this way, and you will help the situation by accepting and acknowledging the way they feel. Let them know this with phrases such as ?I see that you?re really upset with me and am sorry this had to happen?.

Take Responsibility – Don?t let you ego assume that you are totally without fault in their anger. You may not be fully aware of how you come across or what you did. Just accept that your actions could have been responsible, regardless of whether the actions were justified. Find things that you can freely admit you were in error about, and this may help resolve the other person?s anger.

Time-Out – If possible, take a time-out, and let the other person cool down. Trying to debate the situation immediately will often make it worse. Give ti some time to settle down, and then discuss it if necessary. People will require different amounts of time to release their initial anger, so be adaptive to their needs.

Agree to Disagree – Sometimes you?re not going to ever decide that someone was right or wrong, and the debate can go on endlessly with each party trying to convince the other. In these cases, it?s best to just acknowledge that you each have different options, and leave it at that. We don?t always have to agree on things. Just ?Agree to Disagree? then change the subject and move on to something else quickly. If you can find a win/win solution to the issue that?s great, however it?s not always possible.

Keep Perspective – Keep things in perspective, and ask yourself how important the topic of the argument really is in the big picture. It?s so easy to get into a huge argument over what is a trivial thing, and the debate becomes more a personal issue of proving something which really doesn?t matter. Be willing to just let it go.

Release the Anger – If you?re holding a lot of anger yourself, find a good way to release it. What works best will be different for each of us, but some ideas include: talking a walk, go for a bike ride, play a video game, work in the garden, phone a friend, go shopping, take a bath, or anything that will take your mind off it. Time is a great healer.

Avoid Violence – Never use physical violence against another in anger, if you are doing this you should seek professional help before you hurt someone. If you are the recipient of violent anger, then you need to physically get away from that person, as quick as you can.

With anyone you spend a lot of time with, you should work together towards ending anger. Make a pact to try to avoid this emotion which does your relationship no good. If you can both become better listeners, it will go a long ways towards reducing anger, because people will know they can count on you to listen to them. Anger will otherwise become their tool to get your attention.

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Remember that practice makes perfect. Whenever it comes to dealing with your anxieties or any other task; practice, patience, and persistence is the name of the game. If you don?t get the desired results the first time around, then keep trying until you do get the results. Through practice, you will become better at the task at hand and your self-confidence will increase. This also applies to managing your anxieties.

In every anxiety-related situation you experience, begin to learn what works, what doesn?t work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a walk to help you feel better. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk. This will give you the confidence to manage your anxiety the next time around.

Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you?re playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation and increase your self-confidence.

Don?t forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to help manage our fears and self-confidence. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.

Write down on a list everything that you are thankful for. Do not take anything for granted. The next time you feel down, take out your list and review everything that you have listed. This is a great way to remind us of what we have.

As a layman, I realize it can be difficult to manage our anxieties and self-esteem. If you have trouble then talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears, anxieties, and self esteem. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. In the meantime, remember to take it one day at a time.

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It has been transformed and became more modern with producers that are making the most of the environmental concern of society at the moment.
Contemporary ceiling fans are more sophisticated than ever before. They have been updated to suit nowadays furniture so that they appeal to homeowners today and will continue to do so well into the future. Some have a stylish look that is both pleasing to the eye and able to matcha whole range of d

When it comes to adulthood problems with family members, many women automatically think of problems that they have with their husbands or their romantic partners. While these are complications and issues that need to be dealt with, it is important to realize that there is a difference between your partner and the family that you grew up with. That is why it is important that you handle those situations and issues differently.

One of the many problems that women have to deal with, concerning their family in adulthood, is that of sibling rivalries. This is particularly common if you come from a family with three or more children. If one of your siblings is having disagreements with another one, there is a good chance that you may be pulled into the middle. If, at all costs, you are advised to try to stay out of it, there is nothing trickier than having to choose between one sibling and another, especially in adulthood. Although you may not think about it at the time, this is when many families experience rifts that cannot be repaired.

Another situation that many women are placed in is between disagreements or, in worst case scenarios, divorces between their parents. When parents divorce, we often think of young children having to deal with the ramifications of divorce. With that in mind, the problems can be just as bad, if not worse, when everyone is an adult. In messy divorces, it is not uncommon for one parent to expect their adult children to support them and them alone. While you have complete control over your decisions, it is important, like with your sibling rivalries, that you stay as neutral as possible. The last thing that you want to do is cause a rift between you and your parents, especially when you may not have all the time in the world to repair that rift.

Although it is nice to hear that you should avoid any family complications in adulthood, at all costs, you may be feeling pressured. If that is the case, it is important that you explain your feelings to your family members. After all, they spent their lives either raising you or growing up with you. This means that they should understand where you are coming from. Simply ask your brothers, sister, mother, or father to put themselves in your shoes and image how you are feeling. If that does not do the trick, it may be a good idea to seek assistance from a professional counselor.

As a reminder, you have the ability to handle any family issues that comes your way, any way that you see fit. With that in mind, it is important that you use your best judgment. Unlike when you were a child or a teenager, you may not be able to get a quick fix. With no guarantees on how much time you, your parents, or your siblings have left, why take that chance?

Sharon Anthony Bower

It is interesting that many people still confuse being assertive with being aggressive. How about you? Have you learnt the difference? Forgive me if you have, but for those of you who still aren?t quite clear, here is a quick guide to assertiveness ? going for the win-win result.

Assertiveness is a behavior or skill that helps you to communicate, clearly and with confidence, your feelings, needs, wants and thoughts, whilst acknowledging the needs of others. It means that you are able to state your opinions without feeling self-conscious, as well as being able to express your emotions openly. Being assertive will enable you to make clear to others how you wish to proceed in all aspects of your life. At the same time you will value others, respecting their right to an opinion as well. Through effective, assertive communication you will be able to express how you wish to move forward.

Is there an issue that needs to be resolved? Before confronting someone, why not write down what you are going to say? Be polite, concise and include the following elements: the nature of the problem; how it affects you; how you feel about it; what you want to change. Be prepared to negotiate if necessary to bring resolution. By using tact and foresight and by making the effort to see the other point of view and acknowledging it you will place yourself in a position of strength. Be prepared to offer a compromise if that fits in with what you are aiming to achieve. Assertiveness does not mean digging your heels in for the sake of it!

Are you behaving passively? Do you think it is selfish to say what you want? Do you worry that if you refuse to do something, then people won?t like you? Or do you think that other people should know what you want? Sorry. Most people are so wound up with their own thoughts and worries that they usually haven?t time to be second-guessing you. By being clear and prepared to defend your own position if necessary, you will be able to build better relationships with those around you.

Feeling aggressive? Take it out in the gym, on a punch ball or on the running track rather than at work or at home. Aggression is emotion out of control and can be very destructive. A physical activity can help you to diffuse the aggression.

One of the great skills of an assertive person is the ability to say ?no?. Be brief and to the point. Be honest. If you know an unwelcome request is coming your way practice saying ?no? in advance. What are you going to say and do? If necessary, use the ?Broken Record Technique? where you just keep repeating your statement softly, calmly and persistently. Don?t confuse rejecting a request with rejecting the person making the request. Most people are happy to accept an honest ?no? if it is expressed appropriately. The first time will be the hardest!

Practice the body movements of an assertive person. When standing, be upright and relaxed with open hand gestures. Relax your facial features and make firm and direct eye contact with whoever you are communicating with. This does not mean that you spend the day grinning! Your facial expression needs to be appropriate to how you are feeling, so that you don?t give out any mixed messages. If you are pleased, smile, but if you aren?t so happy with the way things are, feel free to frown.

Show a willingness to explore other solutions than your own if necessary. Encourage creativity from all. ?How can we solve this problem?? will encourage others to tap into their resourcefulness. Sometimes it just takes a bit of encouragement.

Weigh the costs. Telling other people how you feel also makes it easier for them to communicate their feelings to you. Assertiveness is about acknowledging that all opinions are important ? ?I matter and so do you?. By being passive or aggressive you will lose out. Being assertive costs nothing but brings many benefits. You will be able to communicate better, command respect and be listened to within respectful, negotiating relationships. Win-Win? Definitely!

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